We all would like to live in a world where there is no fighting or violence, but the truth is that in Australia currently, at least one woman dies from domestic violence a week. Often domestic violence is kept secret within the walls of the home, with family and friends unaware. We must be more educated and socially aware to offer support and help people suffering this danger. Victims should not feel ashamed and know that there is support available to help them change their circumstances.

The purpose of this article is to inform people that there are difficulties in leaving a violent relationship and that there needs to be thorough care taken in planning to leave. This is where a safety plan is needed.

What is a safety plan?

A safety plan is when a victim creates a safe strategy to leave a relationship where they have been victim to domestic violence. When there has been abuse in a relationship it is difficult for the victim to just get up and go, and they need to prepare a step by step plan to minimise harm.

When looking to leave and enact a safety plan, close family members and friends should be consulted. Victims should discuss the circumstances they are facing in their relationship and life.

Victims and people supporting victims must remember that domestic violence and family violence are never okay.  Victims must be reminded that they do not have to tolerate the continual domestic violence. They should feel empowered with the right support to take back control of their life and know that they do not have to tolerate the fear and intimidation that has been present in their relationship; that they can leave and do not need to feel guilty.

What to consider

People in this situation should consider the following when creating a safety plan:

1. Pack a bag with spare clothes, small toys for your children and copies of documents, such as loan information, bank statements, superannuation, shares, property information, education and qualification documents.
2. Place key documents like passports, birth certificates, citizenship (if applicable), confirmation of residency (if applicable) in a safe place or with a trusted friend or family member to ensure that the perpetrator cannot locate those documents. Make copies for your own records and place in safety bag to easily access to set up new bank accounts and similar utilities.
3. Remember to take prescriptions if you regularly take medication.
4. Save money in cash as bank accounts and credit cards are traced by the location of transactions. By using cash, it allows you to be untraceable for a time, to enable you to leave and set up somewhere safely before the perpetrator may locate you, or so you have a chance to set up your own personal account.
5. Consider changing your phone, phone number or getting a prepaid sim where the phone number is provided to trusted persons who are aware of the circumstances and know that you are intending to leave. It is imperative that you have a phone easily accessible if you need to call 000 at any point, if the violence escalates before you leave.
6. It is important to monitor conduct on social media noting that your location can be easily found on many social media outlets when they post online. This can be a source of danger for victims and their children who are trying to conceal their new location after they have escaped an abusive relationship.
7. Notify people close to you that you are leaving the relationship to ensure you have:
   1. support to start afresh;
   2. people close who may be able to loan money to assist with establishing your new life;
   3. someone to assist with creating bank accounts and finding a place to live;
   4. support in contacting government.
8. Speak to your children and tell them that they must leave in order to be safe as it is no longer a safe environment.
9. Educating your children to know their name and address to ensure that they understand if there if someone is hurt as a result of violence in the home, to then to call 000 for help.
10. Create a codeword between family members if they feel endangered at home by the perpetrator which will cause someone to attend the house or call police on their behalf.
11. Try to minimise the possibility that your perpetrator may find you by switching up your routine. Once you have left, if you remain living in the nearby area of the perpetrator then you should change routine so that the perpetrator may not follow or harass you at usual shopping times or other regular activities. You should also update work of the situation and get a friend/colleague to walk them to and from the carpark or public transport stop. You are entitled to 5 days of leave due to domestic violence.

If you know someone who is victim to a domestic violence or family violence relationship, encourage them to seek help, there are many avenues of support and assistance available. There are also many resources and information readily available online.

It is important that victims feel well supported and empowered to leave. It is okay for them to leave a dangerous relationship, and they do not need to keep living in that environment.

Frank Law is able to assist you in the development of a safety plan, and guide you through the proceedings if you choose to seek legal protection. Contact our Family Law team on (02) 9688 6023 or email aharrold@franklaw.com.au 

Resources

Phone: 

1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) - The National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence counselling service for people to discuss their circumstances and receive help. 

Website: 

NSW  Family and Community Services - information about safety planning, domstic violence and legal assistance to support victims. 

Lisa Harnum Foundation - a community service for women in the Hills, directing them to transitional housing, counselling and safe rooms, among other ways to help. 

NSW Justice and Atorney General worksheet - general information and guidance for safety procedures

This is not legal advice. 

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