People often assume that men can push off any emotion and just soldier on, even during a divorce. This view of men only serves to make the problem worse. The breakdown of a relationship involves significant emotions and can feel like the grief of losing a loved one. Separation is not like repairing a car. It may not be able to be fixed quickly, and you may not be able to predict your emotions day-by-day. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings, keep your head above water and manage your mental health during this period.
To all the men going through a separation, here are four ways to get through your divorce.
It’s important to be honest with yourself about what you are feeling at every point in the process. We had a client who continually blocked out his emotions and was therefore unprepared for the emotional cost of major life changes because of the separation. Be aware of your emotions and be brave in feeling them, and don’t give in to the easy option of blocking them out.
A separation can bring up both long-buried and new emerging feelings, and it is essential to talk to someone about them. Maintaining mental stability through a separation requires you to speak aloud. It is never weak to ask for help. Share what you’re thinking to a friend, family member or a psychologist. Get outside of your head by talking out loud to someone about it.
The end of a relationship is an opportunity to stop and consider where your life is at. Take stock of your life and look at the great aspects, as well as areas you want to change. Envision where you want this next chapter to take you and outline both your short-term goals, as you find your feet following separation, and your long-term goals as to the direction you want your life to go.
Wherever your mental health is at, it is important to develop constructive coping strategies. Find social groups and sports teams to build supportive relationships with like-minded people. If you are struggling with your mental health, reach out to organisations designed to provide support.
When you are ready, we at Frank Law are here to support you, and can advise you on your legal position and consider your next steps following separation.
If you have further questions, please contact frank@franklaw.com.au
This is not legal advice.