FamLaw: Questions that need to be answered in a Parenting Arrangement

Written by James Frank | 8/06/16 1:35 AM

One of the most difficult aspects of separating is determining how to manage each parent’s relationship with their child. The Courts operate on the principle that a meaningful relationship with both parents is in the best interests of the child. Moreover, the Courts are reluctant to refuse a parent contact with their child in all but the most extreme circumstances.

To manage all these interests effectively, you will need to make a parenting plan and then get that plan affirmed by the Court in the form of consent orders. But where do you start? It is very difficult to split your daily life down the middle in light of your recent separation. The following steps will get you thinking about where to start.

Step 1: Think of your children

We certainly parrot on about the best interests of the children (and for good reason too!). Do not make the mistake of thinking this is a throwaway comment – the best outcomes in parenting matters are due to both parents mutually putting aside their own desires to recognise the needs of the children. This may manifest in different ways. For example:

Your child is a HSC student – it may be in their best interests for you to be flexible about their living arrangements to minimise disruption to their studies.
Your child is an elite athlete – your child’s best interests may be served by each parent putting their sporting commitments first in determining when each parent will have care.
You child suffers from certain medical conditions – you may need to move houses to accommodate this condition, or be willing to return the child to the other parent if doing so would best assist the child at that time.

These situations are just examples which point to a larger point – the first question to ask yourself is ‘What do my children need most?’.

Step 2: Address the practicalities

Parenting arrangements need to address practical questions such as:

Where will the children live with each parent?
When will the children live with each parent?
How will the arrangement work during school holidays?
What information does the other parent need to feel comfortable with you taking your children on holidays?
What is the best location to exchange the children eg. Pick up after school?
What arrangements will you have for transferring practical items like school uniforms, musical instruments and sporting equipment?
At what time does each parent have to return the children to the other parent?
How can parents maintain the children’s routine?
Under what circumstances will the children visit relatives from both sides of the family?
How will special holidays and events be dealt with?

Step 3: Leave room for flexibility

Many parenting agreements will begin with a clause that say ‘In the absence of any other arrangements between the parents, the following will apply’ before setting out the answers to the above questions. This is so parents may have the flexibility to alter arrangements as the children’s routines change.

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This article is provided to the reader for general information. It is not legal advice. This article was written by Andrea Spencer & Emily Graham and edited by James Frank.